Herb, 32

i'm vegan because despite my outward appearance of not giving a s---, i do actually give just a little bit of a s---.

anyway, now that that's out of the way, i have 1852 characters left to describe my overall badass-ness, and how you, as my seductive and exotic mistress, will support me in my overall badassery. basically, if you are not cool with being in a car containing at least twice as many people as seatbelts, in which a third of the occupants are vomiting out the window, another third are taking bong rips, and the final third (including the driver) are yelling obscenities at the nearest police officer, then there will be no sparks when we meet.

if you're looking for stuff to do during the daytime that doesnt involve getting coffee, getting stoned, or getting head, i thoroughly enjoy activities like throwing my cat at the couch. let me know asap if you are even a little bit willing to spend an hour or two throwing my cat with me.

p.s. i'm moving to nicaragua in two weeks and so i won't really have time to consummate no marriage. but feel free to write me lots of letters (mi amigo is sending me a pack of Lucky Strikes at least once a month) or just come visit me at the volcanic lake near grenada (use google maps)
p.p.s. some of the information below about me and my ideal partner may or may not be total bull----. the part about me eating out frequently is 100% correct, though.